Liam’s Birth Story
Liam “Shoeshine” Hannan made his grand entrance into our lives at 11:44 PM on his Grandma Jan’s Birthday, February 22nd, 2009.
We had been receiving texts and phone calls throughout much of the day asking how I was feeling. My original due date of 2/14 had come and gone and we were now operating under the assumption that he would arrive somewhere around the second date they had given us during all three ultrasounds – 2/22. That day had arrived and it being his Grandma’s Birthday, the whole family was hoping he would decide to join us. The afternoon passed and while I was having a few contractions, there wasn’t anything going on that would lead me to believe that he would be here anytime soon. At 6:00 we sat down to watch the Academy Awards and during the host’s opening act my contractions started to pick up. I began timing them and noticed they were about 6 minutes apart. They quickly became closer and were suddenly 3 minutes apart and fairly strong. At about 7:36 I had one very long, relatively strong contraction and felt my water break. I immediately looked at Bill and told him what had happened and realizing that I was sitting on a leather couch he ran and got some towels.
We made it into the bedroom and my water continued to leak out. I started to panic remembering that all of my kids were born within minutes of my water breaking. Bill started making phone calls to ensure that someone would be with the kids when we needed to leave for the hospital. He then phoned the midwife to let her know what was going on. She told him we had about 2 hours and while I was slightly reassured by this I knew we were still at home with 4 kids and no one there at that moment to watch them should we need to leave post haste. I lay on the bed while Bill ran around collecting all of our last minute necessities and as my contractions started to pick up again, the kids all came in one by one and held my hand through them. It was such a moving experience to have them trying to help me as I worked hard to bring (or at that point NOT bring) their brother into the world.
At some point Bill’s sister Nikki arrived, followed closely by my sister who must have driven like the wind! I was able to relax a little and within a few minutes we were ready to leave. We laughed and joked on our way out the door, but quickly got into the car and started on our way. The ride there was a little rough. Through every contraction I tried to keep Bill informed of what was happening and what I was feeling because I needed his reassurance. I just kept thinking over and over that I didn’t want to have the baby in the car on the side of the road! At one point I told him, “I feel pressure!” to which he responded, “You don’t feel any pressure! No pressure!” Now I can laugh about it, but at the time I wanted to hit him. I KNEW what I was feeling, and it was a LOT of pressure!!!
Within 25 minutes we arrived at Rush Copley and went straight upstairs to Labor and Delivery. We were checked in immediately and were told which room to go to. I immediately panicked when we walked in and there was no pool set up for me. I had had 3 waterbirths and wasn’t about to do it any other way. Just looking at the table loaded with cold shiny instruments put me into a cold sweat. My contractions were coming a little slower now but were gaining in intensity and I knew I was reaching a point where I was going to need to be IN that water and it wasn’t even ready for me!
The nurse came in and told us that Noreen, our midwife, would be there soon. When we asked about the pool, inquiring when it would be set up, she told us it was broken and wouldn’t be usable to me. I immediately became very upset and told her, “I’m not dealing with this shit! We’re going home, I’ll have this baby in the tub!” Luckily Bill stepped in and told me,”We’re not going anywhere” and asked the nurse to please call Noreen to tell her what was going on. Noreen arrived a few minutes later and investigated the problem with the pool. When told that it wouldn’t drain she informed the nurse that that simply wasn’t our problem, to fill the pool and if need be, she’d go to the hardware store herself at 2 AM to get the necessary part. Within ten minutes the pool was set up and being filled.
In the meantime I was checked and found to be about 5 cm. It was about ten PM. While I waited for the tub, I got into the shower and Bill called his sister to check on the kids and give her an update. She could hear me screaming in the background. ☺ He came in every minute or so to rub my back and tell me what a good job I was doing, but for the most part I felt like I needed to be alone. I felt myself slipping into transition, and felt the need to really focus not only during the contractions, but in between as well.
After what seemed an eternity I was checked again and told I was at 7 cm. I slipped into the tub, which was scalding hot, but at that point I just needed to be in it. I knelt and periodically dipped my lower half into the water. Realizing how warm it actually was in the pool, Bill and Noreen ran back and forth with buckets of ice and cold water from the shower to try to cool it down some. After about 30 trips it was finally bearable and I was able to completely relax in between contractions. I went from vocalizing during the peak of my contractions to completely silent. I felt like I was about 3,000 miles inside of myself and while I knew that they were there with me and found comfort in that I needed to be exactly where I was mentally in order to stay on top of the contractions.
At some point my contractions flipped and I was starting to feel a little pushy at the end. I reached down and checked myself (I was in the driver’s seat at this point, I needed to feel completely in control of the entire thing) and felt the baby’s wrinkly head and a little lip of cervix. I informed Noreen where I was and she told me, “Listen to your body, what is it telling you to do?” to which I replied, “RUN!” She and Bill laughed at this but I was completely serious. I was terrified! I knew what was next, I knew that baby was coming out and I was going to have to push him out and I knew all of the sensations that went along with that and I was NOT happy about it.
I fought that push. I fought it to the bitter end, but at one point I knew my fight was over and I was not the victor. I reached down again and felt the baby’s head, felt the hair of the baby that we had grown to love over the past 9 months and felt him move against my hand. I remembered how badly I wanted to meet him and hold him and see the face that my husband and I had created together, in love. I felt the life that was given to us to cherish, the gift placed in our care when we least expected it and looking up I saw the clock. 11:30 ish, I could only see the hour hand from where I was and I knew the 22nd was ending soon. I wanted so badly for our baby to share his Grandma’s Birthday, I knew what it meant to Bill and his entire family, and because of that, what it meant to me. My body was the vehicle for making that happen and I had to get over my fear and bring this baby into the world to meet us.
I, reaching down still, pushed a little and felt him moved down. I felt the cervix slide out of the way and I felt his head move past it. The entire time Bill and Noreen were encouraging me, cheering me on. I felt their support and I knew I could get through the end. They reminded me to change positions so that I could watch his birth, never having been able to do that before. I turned and rested my back against the side of the pool and pushed again. I felt him move down and as his head grew closer I kept both hands there to feel his progress. I, being a doula, and seeing the effects of over-zealous pushing, slowed down my efforts in order to allow him to pave the way for himself. With my eye on the clock above me and a constant prayer in my heart I pushed until his head emerged. I waited as Noreen told me to let his head rotate around and began again as soon as that process was finished. Soon it was evident that he was a little stuck and I needed to push with everything I had. Noreen told me if I didn’t get him out in one push I was going to have to get out of the tub and finish delivering him on the bed. I knew there was no way THAT was going to happen.
I gathered every ounce of strength from the bottom of my very soul, and at 11:44 PM, with his Daddy next to me cheering me on, surrounded by the love of an entire family eagerly awaiting his arrival, and under the protection his Guardian Angel whose Birthday he would always share, our precious son was born, his body left mine and was placed tenderly against my chest. From that moment on our lives would never be the same. We were more than just husband and wife. We were the parents of this beautiful, perfect, screaming, purple baby…
(…to be continued)
